If you are Ashton Kutcher or Charlie Sheen.
As of March 29. I have
42 41 followers. Charlie Sheen went over a million in less than 24 hours. I have tweeted since summer 2009.
Someone pass the crack pipe.
42 41 followers. Ten are friends or family members who do not tweet at all. I guess they got caught up in the fun and fervor of it all. They signed up. Picked a handle that usually requires explanation. Followed me. And fell silent. Eight are “bots” that want me to click on their tweet links and view — sometimes — naked pictures. (I only clicked once that is how I know. Okay maybe twice.)
One is President Obama. Does he follow you? Oh.
And I think one of my followers may have died recently.
My current favorite is Clarity Labs who began following me 2 days ago. Their profile reads: “Clarity Labs is a premier usability lab providing state-of-the-art facilities in the US and Europe for rental or as an end-to-end solution”
They have 698 followers and follow 183 people. (I am one of the lucky 183!) Their last tweet was on November 9, 2010 and was quite exciting:
“Branded Entertainment Experts… missing the mark in NY. Lost over metrics… need to look at user experience…”
Tweeting began as a way to communicate to your circle of friends and micro-blog your thoughts. Essentially a blog for lazy writers and narcissists. But it has now evolved — as has everything on the internet — into another way to market celebrities, companies and politicians. It even creates celebrities, companies and politicians. And bad TV shows.
And it’s really wrecking my self esteem.
This may be the hate talking but I would like to break it to all of Kim Kardashian’s followers (6,911,993 as of this blog post) that she does not necessarily bask in the glow of love you send her in 140 characters or less. She probably hardly even reads them. But she does cash a check when she makes tweets like this one from yesterday:
(i.e buy this cookbook)
— or —
(i.e. Buy this album!)
I’m sure it comes as no shock to most that she gets paid for tweets. And she should be because she’s uh…what exactly does she do again? Oh yeah…be famous. And have sex with marginal rap stars on camera. And she’s pretty darn good at it. Being famous that is.
I do not fault Kim Kardashian or anyone for making money. If I had 7 million followers I would be tweeting about how much I dig Budweiser. I don’t. But I can be paid to say so.
Are you listening Budweiser? Because I know you’re not following.
There simply should be clarity regarding what is a paid ad and what is a personal thought. Especially as many tweeters are children. Or act like them. On televison and in print advertising it must be obvious by law. You cut to commercial and sell baby sell. Of course I realize we are inundated with paid product placements in TV shows and film. But most of us understand them to be paid product placement. And for those that do not (the children-like folk I mentioned above) it’s not hyper-focused. Characters may drink Coke or drive GM cars but it’s background noise. They do not hold up the Coke, turn to the camera and say: “Coke is delicious! I’d go buy some if I were you!”
But paid tweets are just that. Kim is telling her peeps to go get specific products in a manner that appears to be off the cuff and natural. But it’s anything but. And if it is…then you would think she would want the world to know. She can tweet that she really does like Kit Kat bars. But when she is paid to say that Gatorade is a delicious cocktail mixer…she can hashtag #paid. Simple. That way we can get to know the real Kim.
And that’s all we really want.
The average Twitterer (tweeter?) has 124 followers. A fraction of the number the top 100 but still 3 times as many followers as I. When I send my thoughts out to the twitter universe I am reaching no one.
So I guess what I am trying to say is….
Follow me! Please! I beg of you!
www.twitter.com/cinemkr. (I’ll explain the handle later.)